Let’s all agree, Tinder is the absolute worst. It’s an endless cycle of swiping left forever until you find someone decent enough to swipe right. And when you do find someone decent, odds are you didn’t match with them, so you delete the app. Eventually you redownload it and immediately notice your inbox is full of gross messages, which leads you to delete it again. Finally, the boredom gets the best of you and the cycle continues to thrive. I have received countless messages that make me question if online dating is even worth it. I’ve narrowed it down to some of the most common, and some of my personal favorites. Enjoy:
“What’s a smart, attractive, young…Man like myself doing without your number?”
I’m not saying I need to be complimented, but this whole message is him talking about how great he is.
“Any chance I could interest you in some semi anonymous casual sex?”
Kudos to this guy for being straight up. I had no interest in any of that, but at least no one’s time was wasted.
“Do she got a booty?”
Am I “she” in this scenario? I’d like to say yes, but where’s the mystery in that, buddy?
“Judging by your hair you look like a chick who loves anal…imma right?”
Yes, this is an actual message I have received. I have a lot of questions for this guy: First, what does that even mean? How does my haircut reflect that? How does he even expect a girl to respond to that. Excuse me while I go get a haircut.
“So in ya or on ya?”
Ooooooh…how about neither.
“Your lips look like pink pillows of justice and my nap has been served.”
How am I flattered and grossed out at the same time? Honestly, 10/10 for creativity.
“I’m down to hook up or be friends.”
Those are two completely different ends of the spectrum!
“You look like trouble.”
If trouble is doing my homework on a Friday night and going to sleep by 10 p.m. then I’m your worst nightmare.
“I’m 6’3 and eat ass.”