Syllabus week only comes a few times a year, so it is important you take advantage of the week while you can. It’s supposed to be the easiest week of each term, giving you some time to transition back into your routine. Here’s a list of things that make sylly week the best.
New term, new you
The beginning of the term means a brand new you. Got bad grades last term? Here’s a fresh start with a new grade book. Acted a little whorish? With a new term, you’re basically a born-again virgin. You have ten whole weeks to be a completely new person, again.
Picking a seat in class
Everyone has an unassigned assigned seat they claim at the beginning of the term and sit in without fault until the term is over. Now’s the time to get strategic. Find the hottest person in the room and sit next to them. They’ll be forced to talk to you at some point, and eventually, they will anticipate your presence.
Acceptable to drink 24/7
Spring term in general calls for heavier drinking, but sylly week is the most acceptable time to be drunk at 10 in the morning on a Monday. The likeliness of someone calling you out on your early drunken state is slim, but if they do, the most acceptable response is, “It’s fine, it’s sylly week.” No one will question that.
Minimal effort in classes
Unless you have a professor that lectures the entirety of the first class (seriously who does that), the first week is really just sitting through reading the syllabus and some other bullshit introduction to the class. You just have to physically get yourself to the classroom. I promise you can fight through the hangover and sit down and stare into space for an hour and 20 minutes.
School is for socializing
It’s easy to forget that the reason you’re at school is to get an education and not to fuck around with your friends all the time. Sylly week gives you the false consciousness that you don’t have any responsibilities. You don’t really have to think twice about skipping class, which is a dangerous game to start playing.