You know you’re in Eugene when…

By Quackd • January 27, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jasmine Jinx Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jasmine Jinx

1. You see a guy playing elevator music while riding a tricycle wrapped in Christmas lights. 2. Your living room smells like cigarettes and weed. And you don’t smoke either. 3. You’re awoken at all hours of the night by the Cahoots van backing up for what seems like twenty minutes. 4. You know what [...]

I am Pluto

By Quackd • January 26, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Kelly the Zebra Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Kelly the Zebra

By Dahlia Bazzaz  My parents have always made me feel like I was the most interesting thing in their lives. To be honest, I’m a textbook youngest child: spoiled, sassy, and stubborn. I was never given a reason to look beyond my own section in the family photo album. “You were the cutest baby in [...]

These shoes

By Quackd • January 22, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Erik Schepers Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Erik Schepers

By Grant Susman These shoes define me. They’ve walked a path that few have seen and even fewer understood. They’ve put me in places I never could have imagined being in and others I couldn’t wait to get out of. They’ve put up with being slammed against the ground repeatedly, even after years of being haplessly [...]

“Not all men!” and other shit I’m sick of hearing

By Quackd • January 22, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Amanda Valaitis Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Amanda Valaitis

By Katherine Marrone 1. “Yes, I know women are objectified in the media more than men… but, but, but, Magic Mike!!” 2. “The advertisers are marketing toward men. So, of course that AXE ad would show a flock of 1800 half-naked women! It makes total sense! How else would men buy the things?” 3.  “You’re one [...]

Free of the pieces

By Quackd • January 21, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jesus Solana Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jesus Solana

By Kira Hoffelmeyer  As I sit here writing, I’m ignoring the nagging itch at the tips of my fingers to dial your number. They tingle as if I’ve let them fall asleep, urging them to come back to life. I miss you. You shared stories of your crazy family — in particular, your estranged brother [...]

In a cold room

By Quackd • January 20, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user raychel sonveeco Creative Commons photo by Flickr user raychel sonveeco

Trigger Warning: The following essay deals with an account of intimate partner physical and emotional abuse and may be triggering to some. By Rebecca Ramirez I’ve always been afraid of mirrors — terrified that I wouldn’t see a smile creep across my face, petrified that I wouldn’t see myself happy. When I looked into my smeared [...]

Laundry day

By Quackd • January 19, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Stu Taylor Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Stu Taylor

By Sami Edge I have to wash my sheets. The impulse pounded through my head at 8 a.m. on a Sunday. I was slightly hungover. And pretty sleep deprived. But I couldn’t bear the scent of you for one more minute. I just wanted some fucking control. What a joke. Last night, I thought you’d [...]

Five words to ruin a date

By Quackd • January 16, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jennifer Kelton Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jennifer Kelton

1. “The doctor says it’s fine!” 2. “Where is the closest Abercrombie?” 3. “I voted for Bush… twice.” 4. “I forgot my credit card.” 5. “I love you so much!” 5. “I listen to Rush Limbaugh.” 7.  ”You should meet my wives.” 8. “I’m a huge Nickelback fan.” 9. “Yeah, so my ex-boyfriend…” 10. “Duck football [...]

You’re the reason: An open letter to my sexual assailant

By Quackd • January 15, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Amona Savira Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Amona Savira

Trigger Warning: This article contains a descriptive account of a sexual assault which may be triggering to survivors. By Andrea Harvey Do you remember me? Do you remember what you did? It was December 2011. I had just turned 18. I was invincible. I knew about sexual assault and decided it wasn’t going to happen to [...]

How to survive life as a 19-year-old virgin

By Quackd • January 14, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Julie Barnofski Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Julie Barnofski

By Samantha Matsumoto  Step 1: Realize, on the eve of your 19th birthday, that you’ve been a legal adult for an entire year, and you still haven’t gotten laid. Step 2: Panic. Step 3: Give yourself a moment to realize the gravity of the situation. You are an adult virgin. And not one of those [...]